Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Hilariously Ridiculous Lyrics in Recent Hip-Hop

I know, you guys think I hate hip-hop, despite my ode to it, a few months ago. But I don't. It's like a relative; you make fun of them to show them you love them... right? And sometimes, we're so busy whipping our hair, wiping ourselves down, or stanky legging, that we don't realize how ridiculous it sounds. But I do. I listen to it and it provides consistent comic relief.

Some people would argue that the music I'm about to describe isn't hip-hop, that it's just rap music. People like my brother have this huge philosophical hang up with commercial versus underground, but my brother also looks like he's doing the Short Bus Shawty move in photos sometimes, so how seriously can I take him? Also, if an artist is truly "underground", how do we even know they exist?!?!

Anyway, I take this friendly rib at hip-hop because if I'm going to be forced to hear it when I go out, I may as well get to exploit it.

This list is by no means, the definitive or comprehensive list of laughable lyrics, simply, the ones I can recall at the moment.

1. Nicki Minaj - Your Love - "I think I met him in the sky; When I was a geisha, he was a samurai, somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai." Just that quick, Nicki has contributed to the miseducation of the Negro. Geishas are traditional Japanese female entertainers, and Samurai are high ranking Japanese military officers. So it's possible that a geisha could have met a samurai. Enter, Thai, a language commonly spoken in... Thailand. Add to this, their setting is "the sky." Cause you know, members of the Samurai and geisha fly... Uh... what?!?!?! If I overhear a child telling their mother, "Mom, let's go to Thailand and meet some geisha and samurai," I won't blame the child. I'll blame Nicki.

2. Chris Brown feat. Tyga & Kevin McCall - Deuces "She make wanna leave the one I'm with... Usher Raymond. Probably didn’t register, don’t trip, later on it will..." I don't know if it was Kanye, Wayne, or Drake that started this trend of word association rap... "Something something something, pause for a second... something that reminds me of something" but it's an epidemic. Kevin McCall almost did it effectively, when he referenced the Billboard Hit that registers with any and everyone over 20, Usher's -"You Make Me Wanna". But then, he followed with, "probably didn't register... later on it will."

Let me tell you something... if you hear that line, and then 15 minutes later, you go, "Ohhhhhhhh... he was talking about that Ursshhher song yooo!", I'm going to ask you to cough up the crayons you were chewing.

3. Lil Wayne feat. Robin Thicke - Shooter. "And to the radio stations, I'm tired o' being patient. Stop bein' rapper racists, region haters." I don't want to explain why "rapper racist" doesn't make sense.

4a. Young Jeezy - Put On. "Send them p**** n*** runnin straight back to the dealership, me I'm in my spaceship, that's right I work for NASA." No you don't.

4b. Young Jeezy - Put On. "Her weave look like some curly fries inside fish sticks, outside tartar sauce." .... What?!?!?!

5. Jay - Z - D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune). "This is anti-autotune, death of the ringtone. This ain’t for Itunes, this ain’t for sing-along...My raps don’t have melodies." There are at least 3 lies here. I'll let you figure them out.

Now that I've added Jay-Z to the mix, I have to stop, for fear of Illuminati coming after me. I know, that I left out thousands and thousands of lyrics. Please, for my entertainment, and for the world wide web's, share other funny lyrics.


  1. Yeahh...Nicki was on some ridiculousness with those lyrics. I still like the song though. :: ig'nant moments ::

  2. on that Usher one...a lot of youngings didnt get it. They thought he was talkin abt Usher's divorce or something so i was like o_O so Kevin bout right!! lol

    and you should def. read

    best site ever!! lol

  3. Anyone not old enough to get that reference shouldn't be allowed to listen to hip-hop. lol. Plus, if they don't get it, it won't register later.

  4. i think wayne did a good job with number 3. now if u dont get it then thats a prob crys. and dont try and be literal with the word racist cuz i know thats what ur doing. either way, rapper racist makes sense.

  5. for the Nicki lyric, you should blame the parents for allowing their children to listen to that type of music. for the Kevin McCall one, it's a double entendre as Usher has had 2 very public relationships end, the first of which being due to infidelity. the wayne one is based on which word would fit and could bring about the feelings of favoritism or prejudice that would fit and or rhyme. *Skips Jeezy's Lyrics* Jay-Z was simply speaking to his making music for the sake of making it and honing his art and not making it based on commercialism, now once that art is put out into the mainstream he can't control what's done with it, but he was just voicing his intent. I think this was a great post on the whole, just looked at the lyrics in a different way.

  6. @Tiffani: I am a low-key Nicki Minaj fan. *cringes*
    @Aubrey: hey, shut up.
    @E. Jamal: I agree with you, and I recognize what they were all trying to do. I just like to poke fun, because when you take it literally, it really sounds silly.

    Thanks all for reading so far. :)

  7. Only two words can properly express my thoughts on the entire irony of this post:

    No comment.

  8. your pointing out a few rappers to represent the whole hip hop community which i dont appreciate.

    the music you are exposing right now is RAP not hip hop. i see nobody up here who is known for lyrical greatness. besides Jay-Z but he has devil worshippers writing for him so he doesnt count.

    if u want to expose rap dont focus on one group of artist. thats like saying everyone from la is gay and/or is a crackhead. or everyone from dc is ghetto and obssessed with go-go music which is a misrepresentation of dc as a whole.

    furthermore your brother was just showing the camera lady what was going down on prom night.

  9. @John: lol. I never attempted to suggest that the lyrics mentioned above were representative of the entire genre of hip-hop.

    Furthermore, whether you call it hip-hop or rap, its music and the lyrics are so ridiculous, they're hilarious. I've written other posts about hip-hop that talk about how awesome it is, so read carefully bro-ski.

    As far as your comments re your prom night, inappropriate. And I'm telling Mom.

    Love you!

  10. Oh Crystal, don't forget about "okay i get it, let me think, i guess its my turn. Maybe its time to put this p***y on your sideburns". Seeing how I'm an angel and not well versed on ratchet matters, i'll need someone to help me understand how this is pleasurable for either party involved.

    oh, and this has nothing to do with the post whatsoever, but I was just trying to learn a little bit more about the aforementioned comment about people from LA being gay and/or crackheads. I've heard A LOT of stereotypes about people from LA, but never that lol. #LearnSumthinNewEveryday #AsYouWere

  11. How about that dude from the song w/ Wacka Flacka and Wale (not to mention Wacka's whole verse)... He said something like:

    "I be goin ham, shorty upgrade from balogna..."

    Then followed that up with:

    "something something something... I can make it flood, cuz I walk around w/ pockets that are bigger than my BUTT" (Emphasis was rapper's)

    Just plain ridiculousness!!!

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  13. I was actually driving in Bangkok yesterday and heard the "Your Love" song for the first time and up came those words of if she were a geisha and he a samurai and then that she understand Thai...ummm - I was disturbed that such misinformation had been easily put out there! Completely different countries and cultures being put together based on something untrue. I found your blog as I was trying to find out whose song it was - I was happy to see I wasn't the only one surprised ;)



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