Thursday, June 30, 2011

Five Things Ladies Would Rather Not See

For the past few months, my friend over at A Bachelor's Pad and I have been jokingly saying we'd write complementary articles, one from the man's perspective and another from the woman's perspective, we just needed a good topic. *in my Kevin Hart voice* Soooooooo, we picked an age old topic: "Turnoffs by the Opposite Sex." Ladies, if you're interested in reading about 5 Things Guys Don't Find Attractive, click here ---> A Bachelor's Pad (after you've read this one first to ensure I didn't discredit our gender).

As for the guys, the following is a list of somewhat superficial --but nevertheless important-- things that women just don't find attractive:

1. Long fingernails. Why?! Some women keep their nails long to be fashionable. But for men, there's simply no reason for it. It shows poor hygiene and gives me the impression that you're dainty enough to keep your nails long but too much of a woos to allow them to tear off while doing the heavy lifting of a neighbor's furniture. Also, unless you play the guitar, there's absolutely no reason to keep that pinkie nail longer than the others. That's a CLEAR sign of a drug user. Trim 'em.

2. Sagging Bottoms. Well first off, it's uncomfortable, which lets me know that you'd rather be what you consider fashionable than comfortable. Which is an odd and unattractive trait in a guy. There's nothing wrong with being hip, fresh or whatever you kids are caling it, but sagging isn't professional or dapper, it's just a trend, a fading one at that.

3. Men Who DON'T wear suits properly. This doesn't mean I discriminate against recently incarcerated men who are still figuring out that one size doesn't fit all. But it does mean that at some point, every man needs to visit a tailor or at least find a fine men's clothing store that offers suits that fit them well. When a man is wearing a suit for the first time and it doesn't hang well, he sticks out like a sore thumb and not in a good way. There's a reason the ladies love Maxwell and it's more than the sultry voice. It's the way his suits fit.

4. Overwhelming Cologne. It's one thing if you can hear someone around the corner... but if I can smell your Axe/incense/Tommy Hilfiger/Dolce & Godiva/Rick Ross Sweat Beads cologne before we're sharing intimate space, that's problematic. Someone who uses a subtle dab of cologne and a clean, crisp smelling aftershave is sending the message that they're well groomed, masculine, but not imposing. The guy who smells like he substituted cologne for body wash makes us feel cornered and intimidated. And not in a good way.

5. Using/Wearing Random Gifts from the Ex. This may be the one that throws you for a loop, but I promise I have a reason for it. A friend of mine has a boyfriend who collects watches. To date, he has about 40 odd watches. His ex girlfriend of five years purchased him a watch one year for Christmas (I know... kinda unoriginal right!?) Anyway, the watch wasn't particularly expensive or unique, it just was the one his ex-girlfriend bought him, and whenever he was mad at his current girlfriend, he'd wear that watch. Of course, this only pissed my friend off more and made her feel like he was throwing the ex back in her face. The point to this convoluted story is, unless it's the only Karl Kani Limited Edition track suit that you own, let it go. No one wants a constant reminder of their predecessor dangling in their face when you lean over for a kiss. I'm not going to go so far as to say you should throw these items away; you never know when you're going to need to pawn an old piece of jewelry to bail your uncle out of jail, but at least show your significant other enough respect to keep the past in the past.

There you have it; I gave you five that I think are relatively universal, what else do you guys have? Be sure to weigh in on A Bachelor's Pad list as well.