Thursday, January 5, 2012

GOP: 2012's Humpty Dumpty (Part II)

In my last post, I outlined why Ron Paul, Rick Perry, and Newt Gingrich, 3 GOP presidential hopefuls would fail to win the overall election. At the time of that writing I thought I had at least 4 more candidates to discuss, but it seems that after a lackluster showing in Iowa, Michelle Bachmann has bowed out.  It’s a shame; she was probably going to be the easiest paragraph to type.
But anyway, moving onward and upward, let’s get right to it. What are the major flaws of Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman, and Rick Santorum that will prevent them from the ultimate success?
Let’s start with the candidate I respect most:

Governor Huntsman.
Mr. Huntsman was elected as governor of Utah twice, and in 2009, resigned to accept President Obama’s appointment as U.S. Ambassador to China. He’s served in the Reagan and Bush administrations as well. While he is certainly conservative, he’s not so far right that liberals and moderates have difficulty finding common ground with his beliefs. He's a Mormon but he believes in evolution and his work in both Democratic and Republican administrations is evidence that he knows how to work with all kinds of people. Ironically… this is his Achilles heel.
His Flaw: Governor Huntsman can’t beat a moderate President by being moderate. The conservative and disenchanted who aren’t so enamored with President’s Obama administration aren’t going to replace him with someone who used to work for him. Similarly to 2008, a lot of folks are looking for change and Huntsman can’t (or won’t) do that. Huntsman is consistently at the bottom of all the polls so don’t look to see him in a presidency near you, however, feel free to view his (hilarious) appearance on the Colbert Show.

 Rick Santorum
Next up is Rick Santorum. When I first started writing these pieces, I tried not to say anything particularly mean-spirited, ugly or petty about any of the candidates, but Santorum makes it hard. I don’t know if it’s the arrogant smirk, or his absurd campaign slogan “The Courage to Fight for America” (is America under siege?!), but whatever it is, this guy is a joke. Seriously, I don’t even know where to start with his flaws, so I’ll be concise.

His Flaw: His views really pissed off Dan Savage, popular writer and pundit. So Mr. Savage created a website redefining “santorum.”  I’d call it ratchet if I used that word. I won’t type out the actual website, but you can click on it here. (If you’re 18.) As long as this site is up, Santorum doesn’t stand a chance. By the way, if you Google "Santorum", this is the first site that comes up. What a shame.
 Mitt Romney
Finally, we’ve come to the candidate who most recently emerged (quite narrowly I might add) victorious in the Iowa primary, Mr. Mitt Romney. From the beginning, he’s been the “safest” Republican choice. He’s got a strong history of conservative values, he’s the child of a Michigan governor, he’s got a big presidential smile, and seems to make people at ease with the idea of a Mormon president. But he effed up and we all know where:
His Flaw: Years before the health care reform supported by President Obama, Mitt Romney successfully supported and initiatied a similar health care plan for the state of Massachusetts. There is one thing almost all conservatives (and some indepedents) agree on: the health care reform initiated by the Obama administration is a socialist, evil plan to make health care more affordable, efficient, and accessible to all Americans. Wait… that's evil? I digress… While Romney has a particularly great knack for talking about how horrible the Obama admin has been for our country, it’s a little hard to pull off when it seems as if you two are on the same page about Obama's most controversial piece of legislation. Sorry Romney; if only you’d known that caring about the residents of Massachusetts would come back to bite you in the rear. By the way, I highly recommend reading the article hyperlinked in this paragraph twice. Very informative.
So there you have it. Romney, Santorum, and Huntsman, nice try, but no cigar.

Am I underestimating Romney’s ability to unseat Obama or Huntsman’s ability to be the come back kid? Or is this a pretty good assessment of the remaining 3 GOP candidates? Let me know what you think. I'm always willing to learn.